Chapter 18: One-Way Ticket to Freedom

I finally made up my mind to escape to freedom one day in 1994. That day we were both home together. Out of nowhere, he started blaming me for things I hadn’t done. I watched in fear as he worked himself into a crazy mood swing. I kept quiet as he started threatening me with all the horrible things he would do to me if I left him. Then he started beating me up. Apparently, he was sensing that I was going to leave him permanently. He must have seen my decreasing love and interest in my eyes. He forced me to the balcony and put a bread knife to my throat. The sharp edge of the knife was just barely piercing my neck, and I held my breath to prevent injury. All kinds of feelings were flooding my mind at that moment, my thoughts mixed with fear, anger, and hopelessness.

Many times since, I have wished that I had been strong enough to take the knife away from him and use it to defend myself so he would have to beg for his life like I was begging him for mine. But I knew that I was not strong enough to break his hold on me.

  • “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord. (Jeremiah 29:11–14)

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