It’s Important to Set Boundaries!

Emotionally healthy people know who they are and what they will allow in their lives. They love themselves and others enough to clearly communicate that unacceptable behavior will not be tolerated. Emotionally healthy people allow others the freedom of choice and expect the same. These healthy limits are called boundaries. Boundaries are a clear signal to others what is expected.

Wounded people erect walls instead of boundaries. They are fearful of continued assault so they attempt to protect themselves from pain by building up these walls. They are usually wounded, fearful, confused, and full of self-pity. Instead of communicating openly about their expectations, they wall themselves off from other people. Usually unhealthy people do not believe they have permission to have boundaries, so instead of communicating clearly, they will become passive-aggressive towards others. In reality, this is more damaging than being forthcoming about expectations.

God told us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. In order to love others well, we must love ourselves well. This means giving ourselves permission to be treated respectfully.

If you look at your life and realize that you have allowed yourself to be mistreated, you can change that now. Begin by repenting for not loving yourself well. Ask God to show you your value through His eyes. After all, you are worth the death of His son. Once you have received this revelation from God, begin to lovingly communicate to others that you will not tolerate behavior that is disrespectful or unloving. Be clear, firm, and respectful. Some people will adjust and some will not. Love them enough to give them the choice to leave. Love yourself enough to let them go.


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